How much I hate Walmart, a diatribe.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Tonight Steven and I are making our bi-weekly trip to Walmart.  You would never know it, but I hate Walmart.  I go there all the time, and yet still hold a strong dislike for the place.  It's so big that it takes literally forever to get in and out of there.  Walmart is not the sort of place you run in for one or two things.  It's only worth it if your list is a full page long in 10 point font (in case you're wondering, yes I do type my grocery list sometimes).  It wouldn't be so bad if the things that most people go in for (groceries and toiletries) were in the same section of the store.  But alas, they are not.  The groceries take up one whole side of the store, but to get some shampoo or cat food, you have to walk to the complete opposite side of the store.  This may not seem like a big deal, but if you've ever been in a Walmart, you know that the place is approximately 10 football fields long, so to walk to the other side of the store constitutes a full-blown cardio workout.  Especially with having to dodge the people waiting in line at the checkout (it never fails that the checkout lines extend halfway into the walkway, because of the 30 registers, only 10 are ever open at any given time.) and the people who saw some long lost third cousin twice removed and insist on standing (each with their own shopping cart) in the middle of traffic blocking my way while they catch up.  Not to mention the people who have all the time in the world (and who probably spend all that time in Walmart) pushing their carts at a snail's pace while their 15 kids create a barricade that no matter what type of football-esque plays I do, I simply cannot break through. 

But aside from the size and crowdedness of Walmart, there is the fact that they never have any red bell peppers.  I see the bin where they should be, but it's empty.  Always.  I want a freakin' red bell pepper!  Is that too much to ask?!  No, I do not want green or orange or yellow, I want red.  This alone is enough to drive me crazy.

Yet, there is more.  Apparently, the cashiers go through absolutely no training prior to their first day on the job.  I worked in a grocery store for a summer during college, so this especially irks me.  I even set our stuff out on the conveyor belt in the order of what should be bagged together.  I put all the yogurt, coffee creamer, cheese, and deli meats together; all the boxed foods together; all the produce together; all the toiletries together, yet my bags still end up being a random mixture of everything I bought.  No rhyme or reason.  And I hate when cashiers put two or three things in a bag instead of filling it up.  I've only ever had one cashier that bagged correctly, and if I could remember what she looked like, I would wait in her line no matter how many people were already in it.  That's how important it is to me.  But it's not just the bagging, it's the speed with which they scan the items.  It's like, even after months (or years, probably), they can't seem to remember, that most of the time, UPCs are on the bottom or lower back of all items.  Instead, they do a thorough examination of the item to locate the UPC and then scan it.  When I worked at a grocery store (and I only worked there for 4 months), I got so proficient with the location of the UPCs that I could scan items with my eyes closed.  I probably should have won some sort of award for Most Speedy Checker Outer Ever.

So wish us luck tonight as we set out on our bi-weekly adventure.  I hope we get home quickly, with a red bell pepper and full grocery bags.  Sigh.

Hmm, seems like Walmart should put someone in charge of the signs that knows how to count.  Newsflash: $4.48 is less than $4.98, not more.  Some rollback this is.

No Comments Yet, Leave Yours!