The Great Phone Search

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Yesterday, we had The Great Duvet Search, so while we're on the topic of our master bedroom decor, let's talk phones.  More specifically, corded phones.  I don't know about you guys, but we never use our house phone (I would be willing to bet that the majority of our family and friends don't even have the number).  It seems landlines are going by the wayside nowadays.  However, we still need to keep ours because of our alarm system.  It uses the phone to call the cops/medics/fire department, which we think is important enough to warrant the $10 a month we spend on it.

Funny story: Last Christmas morning, we left the house in a hurry to get to my mom's for breakfast.  We set the alarm but had to run back inside to grab something.  We should have had plenty of time because it gives you at least a minute or two to get out of the house and beeps progressively faster as your time is waning so you know to get your booty out.  We grabbed what we needed, jumped in the car and started driving to my mom's house.  Suddenly, Steven's cell phone rings.  It's our security company saying that our alarm is going off.  We are only at the end of our street at this point, so we turn around and check to make sure everything is alright.  It is.  We're the dummies who woke up the whole neighborhood with our loud alarm going off on Christmas morning.  It still baffles us how we didn't hear it going off before we pulled out of the driveway.  We have a loudspeaker outside that makes the loudest, most horrible wailing noise when our alarm is tripped, which usually happens every Saturday morning when we forget to disarm it before going down to the basement.  Anyway, so yeah, we passed the cop who had already been dispatched to our house on our way back out to my mom's.  It's nice to know that they respond quickly, though!  Okay, segue finished!

We don't have caller ID or call waiting or any of that fancy schmancy stuff, and it's bundled in with our cable and internet, so the cost is really minimal.  See, the problem is, we don't have a phone.  Before we moved to Ohio, we had two cordless phones upstairs, one in our bedroom, and the one with the answering machine in the kitchen.  When we moved back last December, neither one of them worked right anymore.  I think they stayed plugged up and unused for too long that they just lost their mojo.  We have a cordless phone in the basement that still works that we could move upstairs, but we just haven't.  Like I said, we don't use it.

I'm getting to the point shortly, I promise.  Remember my little accident back in September?  Right after it happened and the police and my boss had been contacted, I tried to call Steven.  He didn't answer.  I tried calling him again and again, but he was still asleep (it was 6:30 in the morning, after all), and his cell phone was on vibrate.  He didn't call me back until he woke up at 7:15 and realized I'd called him 13 times.  I started thinking... what if I had been in a ditch and only had enough cell phone battery to make one call and I called Steven but he didn't hear his phone ring?  Or what if something happened to one of our parents in the middle of the night and no one could get a hold of us?  I sleep straight through my cell phone ring, fyi.  Actually, I sleep through just about anything, but Steven doesn't!

Long story short, we need a phone.  A corded phone.  For Steven's nightstand.  So the search began...

We looked at Target and Best Buy and all we saw were things like this...



Ugliest.  Seriously, a green back-lit screen and buttons?  Gross.

Nothing was saying "Bring me home!" so I turned to the Internet and came across things such as this...

A Coke phone anyone?  Just hold the can right up to your ear... no one will think you're weird or anything.

How about a high-heeled Hello Kitty shoe?

Or a half naked, dismembered lady?  I'm a little curious about where the handset is on this one.  I have a suspicion that it's her red bikini top and when you pick it up, you get a little more than you bargained for.

(All images above via Google images.)

I mean, really, who comes up with these things?

I decided that I'm not settling for some ugly or gimmicky phone.  I want something with style.  Pizzazz if you will.  When I started thinking about what my "ideal" phone would be, my mind immediately went to the old fashioned phone my Nana had growing up.  It was cream colored, had a rotary dial, and made the loudest ring ever when somebody called.  A quick Google search of "old fashioned corded phones" and my dreams came true.

Okay, y'all, this one has Eiffel Tower in the name and sort of resembles its namesake.  I think it's meant to be.  (For those who don't know, I love all things Parisian.)

This one is classic and lovely and I think I would feel quite regal calling Pizza Hut on it.

I like the rounded base on this one and it most closely resembles the one my Nana had, but I don't know, it just lacks that "wow" factor to me.  Oh, and the brass is a little too brassy.

This one looks like it should be on an episode of Mad Men, and I have to say, I just love it.  Not totally sure it's right for our bedroom though.

This one is RED, need I say more?

All of the above are new reproductions, so we wouldn't have to hassle with an actual rotary dial, as they've all been upgraded to touch tones.  I'm leaning toward either the Eiffel Tower or the GEE838. Decisions, decisions.

Do any of you still have a landline?


  1. nice idea, thanks for sharing...

  2. No landline, but I feel like I should if I ever have kids though. I like the old style phones too.

  3. I like rotary dial phones. They have character. I already have enough high tech communication with my smartphone so for my landline, I wanted something that was beautiful to look at.
    While I would also just buy a reproduction than the old fashioned style one, I do prefer the actual dial. I mean, it probably would take ages dialing in an emergency, but the sound of the dial springing back to its original place, that just reminds me of my grandmother, who had an ugly pea green one but I loved playing with the dial.

    I guess if I ever had to make a quick call, I would use my mobile phone.

    Beautiful phones though.